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President's Letter
August 2010
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Are you staying cool this hot and muggy summer? We hope one of the ways your family chooses to cool off is at the annual CAFFA Oakbrook Aquatic Center Swim event on August 7th. We have a lot of fun social events coming up in addition to some awesome educational seminars. As always, we are looking for volunteers to help coordinate these events so please drop me an email if you can help out. We also have a board position of secretary coming open at the end of the year. If you ever considered joining our board, this is an excellent position to get yourself acquainted with how things work. Please drop me an email so I can explain in better detail the description of the position.
Our last social event, the adult social wine tasting at Hillgrove Wine Cellars provided me an opportunity to meet many prospective adoptive parents. Some couples were at the start of their process while others were in the throws having finished home studies and just awaiting referrals. This event brought back so many memories for me. Looking back, I wondered how we got through it. I mean beyond all the paperwork, fingerprinting and background checks, the roller coaster of emotions is just a wild ride. What helped us the most in our process was having a family to mentor us through. It began when I mentioned to a coworker that we were thinking about adoption. We had just been through an initial presentation at an agency and were weighing what path to take; international or domestic? This coworker suggested that my husband and I have lunch with a couple who had just brought home their son from Korea. I knew Tracy and Tom but not all that well. Our paths crossed at work but no personal relationship existed. I gave Tracy a call, told her that we were considering adoption and asked her if she would meet Chris and I for lunch. We arranged lunch over wings and beer. It was Tom, Tracy, Chris, myself and 9 month year old Jimmy, their son who had just arrived from Korea. This lunch was amazing and blazed the path that we followed in adopting our two sons from Korea.
Tom and Tracy were so enthusiastic in sharing their story, their trip to Korea and their agency experience. They were so open in sharing very intimate details of their journey. This conversation determined not only that we would adopt internationally but also from Korea. Well ,,, this one lunch led to many dinners. Tracy guided me through the details of paperwork while Tom guided Chris through the experiences of fatherhood. They were the first people we called when our referral came. When we received the call to travel, we met up at Tom and Tracy's during a tornado warning to pop the cork on a bottle of champagne and get additional advice on what to pack. Siren .... what siren! The sharing of their experiences and emotions took away so much anxiety and made us feel that we were part of a really cool group. Once our oldest son came home, Tom and Tracy introduced us to more families who had adopted from Korea. We went to fundraisers, cultural events, gotcha day parties and birthdays as a group. When adoption leave was up and I had to go back to work, my son joined Tracy and Tom's at a daycare. In fact, between our two families, we had five children at this one small in home daycare.
About 8 months after our second son came home, we ended up moving to Chicago. Tracy and Tom moved to India for two years with their brood. Even though there are distances between us, we found ways to make our relationships last. We both have blogs to keep one another up to date with the kids. We try to see each other at least once a year. In July, they came to visit us and it was as if the children had never been apart. We love this family and are so thankful that our paths crossed.
At the adult social, we hope that we put a few couples in touch with families that could mentor them through in their journey. Wouldn't it be cool to create a list of families willing to help and mentor couples investigating adopting children and post this list on our website for prospective couples to access? Sounds like a great opportunity for a new board member to coordinate! Please contact me if interested!
Warmly,
Jan Reagan
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